Westerner Mindset Mess Test


Western Mindset Mess Test

Whereas to haggle never was read

By mindsets of Westerner’s test

Which asserted the demented bent

As if tradition the undignified ring

Of educational level corrupt think

Yet to assert our collective worth

Might we find undermined our berth

Aboard the ship of true human rights

Prefer we keep in silence the night

And let haggling forsake no light

Because no foregone conclusion ever could

Perceive cause distinct from effect that would

By design break out in Heavenly mirth

Noting so very well what story lands first

While love’s silent spell descends upon this good Earth

When that “we did it” – “to educate”

Was what undoes how well we integrate

We prove nothing less than all nation states

Means military and monetary the fate

Of whatever next how to legislate

Legitmate sacred medicinal status

Of evolution’s constant ability reinstate

And another one after the other’s place

All substance by which the mind wake

Neither pen nor sword yet love situate

All the while how The West

Did legislate false what best

Adopted now all around

That illicit drugs abound

And proven in many a crowd

I think the truth I may have found

Behind why The West too proud

Meanwhile individual mindset fetched

The story of how science experiments

That be it not I to be who divulge it’s

Letter Written and Sent 1st April 2017


The following Text is cut and pasted out of a document still now at my laptop desktop, and last modified 1st April 2017.  I have an e-mail record of having sent it to the recipient at that time, at 6:54am 1st April 2017.  The context of why I had been having e-mail exchanges with the recipient, and reading his academic work, is overt at the end of the following:

Letter to Alex Gearin, contemplating his Article named “Dividual Vision of the Individual: Ayahuasca Neo-Shamanism in Australia and the New Age Individualism Orthodoxy”, of April 1st 2017.


I read your article a few times over, and I still think I have something to contribute to your discourse, so I am formalizing this somewhat by writing a letter, hopefully which will enable my point of view come into your professional academic considerations. To do so, I think I need assert what the basis is, from which I contribute, as well as why. In part, why is because when I first came across the studies in psychology which have equated formalized experiences with collectivism, and informal experiences with individualist social experiences, I had to myself stop and question their evidence, because of my experiences of indigenous Australian society. What my overall experience lends me to believe, (but without academic research I will not here assert), is that an informal collectivist approach, is the hallmark of the way indigenous australian culture is subverting the dominant cultural paradigm of western european imperialism. However, the relationships between formality and informality within the indigenous experience, must be very carefully examined to prove this, because of my also having witnessed quite a few examples, within which the criminal context was that most formal among indigenous men. Of my experiences which inform what I will state later in the letter, I need be upfront, and state the following facts of my associations with Indigenous Australians:

  • In 1987-88 I worked in Community Radio in Canberra, and that lead me to become the TLC appointed Convenor of the Canberra Bicentenary Protest Group, as well as having a number of significant experiences of marijuana use among indigenous women in female only contexts;

  • In my role in the Bicentenary Protest Group, I came to be invited (via an English woman who had lived in a remote N.T. Outstation community, with her former husband Patrick McConvil), attend a Corroboree of National significance, held at Kurnell 25-6th January 1988, and that experience still today ensures a significant level of indigenous acculturation experiences are accorded in my life;

  • Subsequently I studied anthropology and linguistics only briefly at UNE, in an Aboriginal Studies Arts degree which I did not complete, but studied for long enough to have realised that the Corroboree in ’88 enabled my comprehension is of far more depth than it would be had I not attended, and that this is in relationship both with Kinship (by Kinship I include the indigenous economy to be regulated by Kinship), and with Aboriginal dialects of English;

  • In late 2002 the Warlbiri Baptist congregation from Yuendumu formally gave me a Brolga Girl dreaming and dance, onsite at the Tent Embassy in Canberra, and through their attending a National Baptist Convention, which ensured I received the dance within a Westerner’s self concept, and I also received direct information that their understanding is of my having become betrothed into the unsafe social contexts among the indigenous, and that this Brolga Girl story will safeguard my sanctity;

  • In 2003, a younger indigenous man (23 to my 34), tracked me down, announcing he knows me in the Dreamtime, and claimed me as his own property, yet thereafter in accord with his substance misuse pattern, I experienced being stolen from him by another man and other men;

  • After which experiences had begun, I got given some necessary rules, including that I never enter an indigenous inhabited building if I am the only female within indigenous Kinship (or not perhaps), present, (at direct risk of inviting rape), and I found it in myself to respect and obey the rule as it is so openly provided for me as though an instruction in how to avoid being forced into prostitution;

  • Thereafer, and within according to every customary lore instruction I received, I experienced witnessing more of the male consumption patterns of narcotics and psychedelics;

  • This is inclusive of spending one month late 2010 early 2011, living among Long Grassers in Darwin, very much embraced into their Kinship as one of, to the extent even of being found by my good sister Wilma, (who is the older birth sister of Felicity who had named me her sister within Warlbiri Kinship during a series of Warlbiri Baptist congregation visits to Canberra in the mid to late 1990s, when my children became also acquainted with traditionally oriented social contexts: Wilma spared for me her condolences about my having had to become married up within the context of the less safe portion of indigenous society, and about the fact I was then travelling with a grown up “sad boy” unable sustain his manhood in ownership of myself as his woman);

  • I also have had a briefer by more deeply abiding relationship, with a man held to be more responsible for my presence in the world than a “sad boy” will ever be allowed to be, howeveer we became bound within ideological disagreement, based in him being a proponent of incarceration being able to be considered as an equivalent to traditional initiatory rites in qualifying indigenous men, (I made a stand against him which I hold and keep to this day, which is difficult as his is a prominent member of the local community here in Brisbane, and wants to discredit all my lived evidence);

  • I have also had relationship with a few more men who are called “sad boys” and are significantly culturally hurt by their experiences of incarceration, and also with two drover cowboy initiate men, who live fully within traditional culture, as well as within “Two Way” culture, that is a Mestizo type blended culture, in which to be real every fact need full corroboration between dreaming and solid matter in both indigenous and western cultural contexts;

  • I am well informed about the ongoing cultural struggle of traditionally oriented male initiates, to ensure that the two way experience includes traditional indigenous notions of how to manage all narcotics including psychedelics, and I am informed also, but somewhat detrimentally to myself, by an influence counter to the tradition within indigenous society, and aligned with falsified initiations via incarceration and inclusive of violent rape;

  • I have chewed Pituri within traditionally oriented indigenous protocol, (reminding me of the fact that when Westernized anthropologists use the phrase “traditionally oriented”, because it is just oriented to tradition rather than born without need for re-orienting, it is considered as “Two Way” culture by anybody within the label, as though an equivalent of being born as a Kriol language speaker).

Obviously, as a woman I have gained some understanding of indigenous women’s business, and less obvious is that I have an understanding of Kirda Kurdungurlu relationships. Also it is observable of my experiences, that as a woman, we experience participating within Kirda Kurdungurlu relationships potentially as an object of trade, as well as with our own rights of trade between women, and this is what defines my point of view, above and beyond any academic lessons in anthropology. However raised as I am within the Westerner’s frame of reference of thought, I write somewhat alike how an academic can, but within a funny kind of excess of words defined by indigenous communication protocol being applied to a Westerner’s mindset.

For example I have a number of discrete statements to make in this letter, which will each form a paragraph, but some will be longer and more involved than others. But I struggle to conceptually define a plan for progressing the process of writing this letter, because of abiding within my own Two Way context, I feel obligated to be keeping all of this in the order my notes are first written, which reveals the orders in my psyche. This will be true except that towards the end, will be more of my initial thinking, that I interrupted to assert the basis from within which I am providing any kind of collateral evidence into anthropology’s social context.

The major difference between what you describe, Alex, of Neo-Shamanism in Australia, and what I experienced within indigenous contexts, which in general sustain a lot of Shamanic content, (e.g. I once got told that North Queensland bone doctor men can reach into the body and rearrange the bones of a living person, and I was uncertain what to think, until a drunk indigenous man from Palm Island, sat down with me at a bus stop in Brisbane, and after ascertaining that we already know someone in common thus can place one another in Kinship, he touched my back, and I experienced a sensation as if he reached into my body and griped the lumbar region of my spine, and pulled out an object, which I saw as a black thing in his hand, which he then threw away in front of me… and my back pain went away and is gone now already 12 years), is that in the indigenous Two Way contexts, are no current consistent protocols about speaking about visionary experiences, but only the very most traditional rules, and those rules are too often being broken upon being taught, and thus being taught less than the real need is. I think one aspect of this is related to the nature of the duboisia hopwoodii experience, and the other aspect is merely about time and learning of the needs of different psychedelics being different from the needs associated with with word “Pituri”.

An indigenous Australian observation of Western Neo-Shamanism, will usually be fairly rigid in disapproval. That disapproval is often oriented with Native American disquiet about the cultural appropriation involved, however, within the entire context, are also indigenous Australian families who have intermarried with Native American, and are less vocal about cultural appropriation. Thus it is apparent that some other kind of lack of communication is present. What indigenous men will observe, is that there exist in Western Neo-Shamanism, lack of distinct definitions, and/or different patterns of belief, about what is intended in the meanings of words and phrases like “Spirit helper”, “Spirit guide”, “Spirit ally”, “Spirit animal”, and all the Spirit Nature kind of concepts which Westerners at times struggle to grasp, and at other times struggle to deny. In simple marijuana contexts, often involving illicit purchase and thus difficult to study as an ethnography, are many examples of simple ceremonial contexts in which lack of distinct meanings is causing miscommunication within use of such terms. Another observation is that those terms have different regard among different individual Westerners, sometimes with that lack of accurate knowledge being what some people desired in their use of the language. That those differences of meaning, can’t be challenged often, is for some folk the difficulty, but for others the essence, and yet for others is merely a safety net of not needing know everybody’s mindset. Often there are also misconstrued concepts of local indigenous totemic affiliation, for example, and yet the illusion thus created about indigenous/non-indigenous relations, can cause a bubble of relative safety for holding onto the accurate indigenous concept which suffers with becoming propagated nevertheless. Potentially also many mainstream religious concepts are sitting within that same bubble also. The exact issue in all this, from the indigenous two way point of view, is as your article defines, all about dividualist versus individualist social constructs and how these are embedded in how we communicate. The Two Way unspoken condemnation of Western Neo-Shamanism, is in that there is no indication of who is Kirda and who Kurdungurlu, to use Warlbiri expressions of economic values of exchange. Perhaps it can be extrapolated that to “hold space” might have been implying Kirda (in the verb to hold), but in fact proves to be more often a Kurdungurlu function, while for the Westerner, perhaps a transition from being holder into becoming a “keeper” is a transition from Kurdungurlu into Kirda. Yet in the Western contexts a keeper was thought of as lesser than a holder, while in Two Way culture, keeping is the higher social function. This point is predictive if we relate to the context of Native Title, where the exact same difficulty was occurring.

In general, with relation to your point about “…critical methodological questions regarding absolutist theories of individualism and collectivism in the study of New Age spirituality.” (p202) I believe there is a collective conceptual reality becoming born, which we can’t yet detect, at least not with enough insight to be writing about this. Perhaps also it is true, that the turning of any New Age, being a time when in antiquity and pre-history alike, the control of songcycles is being fought for hard, (and in this indigenous australia is no different than every other society in the world), what we can best observe to be under analysis, is the ways that were, which need stand up to a maxim of scrutiny to survive. Meanwhile, the ways that will be, seep into our unconscious psyche, and perhaps are only already conscious within the content of psychedelic visions, if not in contexts considered even more fully sacred and not yet able to be spoken of. Perhaps the “type of evidence” as you write, which we need find methodology to study, is just not yet apparent in the conscious world, but nevertheless we all feel it is.

One point of perhaps only minor interest, is that where I have witnessed Westerners speaking about a rule known of within modern Neo-Shamanic uses of psychedelics, which got expressed to me in the following words: “born under the Star of David”, that are not related to Judaism, but related to how we might see symbols in our mind’s eye, dreaming or with psychedelic substances, or just by looking differently. What the prevailing knowledge is of such lessons, that are also upheld within the most tradition indigenous contexts, is in fact about Christianity. In the Bible is the instruction that both circumcised and un-circumcised are being included in the lessons provided in the New Testament. In this fact, those who would uphold allowing only persons associated more resiliently with the Star of David, have had to come into a lesson of trust in Jesus, and will not be complaining about who engages in use of what. But meanwhile, are also those who have complained much about their desire that use of psychedelics be restricted to only those capable of sustaining indigenous customary lore, and they prove to be on the whole, the same persons who have within indigenous society, been breaking the same customary lore in who they share their own drugs with. Basically, what is happening within my own observation, is that those individuals who purport to want to sustain supply of marijuana as a cash crop, (there are a significant number of new strains of cannabis bred to sustain australia’s low-nitrogen high-mineral soils, and which can be considered of considerable value if in an American type context), were also who refused conversion to Christianity, BUT, defeat their own game by arguing a pre-Christian point of view about who is and who is not pre-destined to have access to psychedelics. They argue that only initiates are allowed, but lack proper definition of what law abiding initiatory ritual is and will be, citing only circumcision when pressed, (even though they implied violent rape, and circumcision as how to avoid infection as a rapist).

OK, so now here, I think I should show my hand a little better than I have already, by revealing something of the knowledge I got given within indigenous contexts, of psychedelics. Remember that indigenous men will say that everything is potentially medicine, potentially food, and potentially poison, and it all depends on timing and dose, how our body will respond to any introduced substance. Thus all substances are regulated by the same Kirda and Kurdungurlu roles, (using Warlbiri language again now, my understanding is: Kirda is the kind of ownership inherited from mothers, which defines a right of veto embedded in an ultimate responsibility; and Kurdungurlu is the kind of ownership inherited from fathers, which defines a food value of right of consumption of the resource; and normally indigenous men translate Kirda as boss, and Kurdungurlu as manager), and psychedelics can be no exception. However, in the case of use of Pituri to see visions, it can be that the presence of the Kirda Kurdungurlu relationship need to be veiled, otherwise the visions will not be seen. That is to say, normal reciprocal obligations become veiled whenever we relate with reality as discrete from the immediate solid matter, to which those reciprocal obligations must be applied. Reciprocal obligations, via Kirda Kurdungurlu relationships, can apply to the noumenal world as well as the phenomenon of solid matter, but not always within experiencing noumenal visionary life. Thus what you write about the tension between indigenous dividualism, and Westerner’s individualist paradigm, is palpable.

I have thought about this a lot in the context of my own experiences, which, while not unique, are not widespread among us whiteys. What I could cite of my relevant experience, is something about how, men’s trading of women, is traditionally a factor involved with what the totality of factors are, which have been enabling of clarity of visions with Pituri. However, in the modern context, all that was the traditional pattern, is in flux, with Christianity intermingled. The Christian influence of one husband one wife being legal now, and being a standard already held high as the preference of most within Two Way contexts, causes that of two major patterns of experience of Pituri, the “get up and walk” pattern which sees less in visions, is already dominating the “sit down and look” pattern, (which for me is always collapse into a dead faint if I do anything other than get up and walk: and this was true for me even within Ayahuasca and Hicuri/peyote experiences of American lead ritual:- I don’t know the extent to which my body is acculturated into this, and the extent to which it is in my biology, but it is safe to associate with Santo Diame knowledge of those who never see visions, as well as with historic knowledge of Pituri, and how it can enable up to about 78 hours of visions, or, can enable a three day and night on foot desert crossing without food and water:-> the potential dangerousness of its use if promoted recreationally, motivates many to silence Pituri out of the modern promotion of psychedelic science, because it is exceptionally strong and the high from, is exceptionally high feeling, but the half life is longer than that of opium, and as far as I know it is the only plant that is stronger in narcotic and psychedelic values than opium). There are also, however, many examples still around, of the “sit down and look” type of pattern of Pituri use, being applied to any drugs available to indigenous men, and of the indigenous proponents of that pattern, still engaging in battles for control of the Dreamtime for the New Age. Yet again this is all seen as the necessity that the transition of time leads us through. In times when songcycles are being re-forged, by intercultural experiences, and inter-racial marriages, etc, the use of Pituri and all psychedelics, is believed to develop a greater tension between the two patterns, until these resolve. In fact many will still refuse to use psychedelics in such times as these, citing that it can lead to difficulty discerning which direction reality is leading us all, whereas use of psychedelics in times when songcycles are totally pre-set and pre-determined, (middle age rather than new age, as these kinds of terms are defined by the stars rather than by men), is simply like a being given a brief loan of the Spiritual energy of perception, that will more readily be accounted for and repaid. In times when the songcycles are being re-forged, when one age transitions into another new age in time, those who have relied more heavily upon psychedelics in general throughout the previous age, have the motivation to propose that we all continue to rely upon psychedelics. Thus a necessary and inevitable tension is present, however, this need never be sustained and portrayed as a tension between Western and non-Western points of view, neither between religious and indigenous, or sacred and secular, just between those who need rely upon psychedelics, and those who might prefer everybody go without. In general, there is always the same conclusion, in that it is wrong to deny anybody any substance they feel they need.

You mentioned at page 203, of your article the following:

These forms of relational personhood–wherein the person is multiple, partible, and distributed across bodies, minds and objects—have been contrasted by anthropologists to a commodity form of “the person” associated with capitalist society.

And I want to strongly assert here, that a very strong distinction need be retained within the indigenous world view, between being consumed, and being a commodity. As a person, who is the object of trades, and whose substance of “self” an object of consumption, my point of view is quite dramatically Marxist aligned, about the negative implications of the commodification of human labour value. In the context of studying Classical Marxism and ANU, I have made the point that capitalism was in its onset, historically already associated also with the commodification of the health of the human body, and my point here, that this fact is all the more tangible within the indigenous experience, because of how trade with Pituri worked in the past. Pituri was, in the pre-western-antiquity of australia, what got used to trade with, rather than any small metal discs. Within comprehension of Pituri sustaining that kind of trade value, the valuelessness of money as an object detrimental to good health, can be amply apparent, all the more when our own person is the subject of trade.

Now, in having stated this, what I have previously stated, can be reframed. That is about how seeing visions via psychedelics requires a temporary veiling of Kirda and Kurdungurlu relationship. That veiling is in fact inherent in the very meaning of the word Pituri, and speaks to the need for decriminalization of all psycho-active substances. It also speaks to the need for society as a whole, to be condoning and sustaining of drugs, yet never actively promoting, merely enabling of the well informed consent of all those who will seek. It is towards this goal that I am writing this letter, wanting that anthropologists are abreast of the concerns among indigenous men who are silenced by their incarceration experiences. I think this point is relevant to your discourse around a “bricolage” of “New Age” “pick and mix religion” “self-spirituality”, and this point is much harder to grasp within the indigenous cultural context, because of the higher value still retained, about adhering to traditional rules. The bricolage provides for youthful enquiry, and as adults we have an obligation to ensure that youth is safeguarded while finding what they need for themselves, regardless of what the need is which anybody will self-identify when given the opportunity to explore the world.

My reason for engaging in this way with your work, is in that I have a specific aspiration which your work may further inform, and which may be of interest to yourself. Within this I am not without internal self-reference to work such as that of Margaret Cross and to general policing concerns, so as my aim will be viable, and the legislation as it stands now, is moving favourably, but I think we have a long way to go before Australians will accept the Portugese example as enough evidence. As somebody who works to enable addiction recovery, I have a clear understanding of how decriminalization is enabling of that recovery, but also of other potentially positive outcomes of decriminalization. The example of the influence of Pituri’s former use as the trade commodity instead of money, guides much of my point of view, since Pituri did not have a problematic use pattern then, and as a contractual substance, beats money’s weight within contract law. My own immediate aim is not going to be fully detailed here, that just a general aspiration. This aspiration is of enabling indigenous Ngungkari better access to Complementary and Alternative Medicine in general, as well as psychedelics from other lands specifically, and also simultaneously, and by means of enabling the Ngungkari, to enable more access to indigenous traditional medicine among westerners, which could include Pituri chewing if a need is evident. Yet indigenous systems which regulate observations of the need being evidence, are as yet, not fully expressed within Two Way (Mestizo type) culture, little own among Westerners. It is likely that Two Way culture will embrace the science at such time as when the scientists get it right, but I think that before then, a lot more could be done with respect of communicating necessary clues. There is already evidence in psychology, for example (Dr Tracey Westerman’s work), of indigenous men being capable of managed dissociative psychosis as a health care paradigm, yet no evidence of MAPS embracing that knowledge in relationship with use of psychedelics.

So then, on that note, I think I ought stop writing and let you eventually get around to reading my letter, written as this is, at the tail end of my first week of social media tasks for Chacruna dot net, I think your need for my volunteer time one week in four is going to suit me well enough.


To Educate


The word “educate”, often was being used as if meaning also an induction into crime and corruption, as well as its original meaning, derived from latin.  Yesterday, it happened that I perceived a group of persons had attempted to turn a trick on me, using the word “education”, in the phrase “levels of education”, and simultaneously they were projecting upon me, that their own rotten reputations, might land upon my head, at an exact time it might prove most unfortunate for myself.  That timing being my own assertion that perhaps some folks might meet at 11am 28th January, 2018, at the Mt Coo-tha lookout, to talk about a Brisbane Chapter of the Australian Psychedelic Society beginning.

I thought I had better know what I am dealing with, and so I looked up the etymology dictionary online in the www dot etymonline dot com website.  It reads to the effect that I think I want to openly avoid any such falisifications of the original meaning of the verb “to educate”, as have been forced upon myself in the past, by persons with criminal intent.  Please note, in reading the following cut and pasted quotes from the etymonline source, that the 1800s are after two distinctly pertinent events.  Those being the invasion of Australia, and the industrial revolution.  Whereas the 1600s are the period of time during which the English language first began to settle into its current formula.  The spelling in dictionaries originates in the Elizabethan reign, when Elizabeth 1 handed much of her choice making power over to her Parliament, and developing dictionaries became necessary thereby.  It is also pertinent, that the result of a Parliamentary voting system of government, as the result of her reign, is also the result of her predecessors, having had a particularly virulent strain of Syphilis, then newly arrived in Europe, from the Americas.  Nevertheless, it was not until after the industrial revolution and invasion of Australia, that “to educate” may have begun to imply anything whatsoever disagreeable to the many parents whose children are well educated without becoming corrupted.

educe (v.)

early 15c., in the literal sense, “to draw out, extract; branch out,” from Latin educere “to lead out, bring out” (troops, ships, etc.; see educate). Meaning “bring into view or operation” is from c. 1600. Meaning “to draw a conclusion from data” is from 1837.

educate (v.)

mid-15c., “bring up (children), to train,” from Latin educatus, past participle of educare “bring up, rear, educate” (source also of Italian educare, Spanish educar, French éduquer), which is a frequentative of or otherwise related to educere “bring out, lead forth,” from ex- “out” (see ex-) + ducere “to lead,” from PIE root *deuk- “to lead.” Meaning “provide schooling” is first attested 1580s. Related: Educated; educating.

According to “Century Dictionary,” educere, of a child, is “usually with reference to bodily nurture or support, while educare refers more frequently to the mind,” and, “There is no authority for the common statement that the primary sense of education is to ‘draw out or unfold the powers of the mind.'”


To Haggle


Today an odd thought played in my mind awhile, then slipped away as my mind fixed its attention according to the desires of that man who tends to dominate the thoughts in the head of this body.  Yet I return to the thinking process I played with, not as much because I think it funny, as because the inherent humour is informative.  I return despite the man, in spite of himself, and by another’s hand.  One who he presupposed might help himself.

My thought is that we Australians might need a lesson in how to haggle. For example, if selling something we produced, it is perfectly alright to adjust the price determined by whether or not we like the person we are selling it to. Or, often enough a haggle is guided by what the buyer’s money smells like. If their money stinks of filthy rich, then double the price, and if they seem only too poor to make the purchase, but you want to make the sale, then halve the price. Simple lessons somehow lost on too many of we Australians.

Even more pertinently, however, if we are the buyers, it is fine to offer less money and make a purchase nevertheless.  You see, if I am asserting, without so stating, but merely by my presence, that my money is good enough, because I am an accountible person at heart, then my smaller quantity of money will be enough to compete with a lot more money offered by a stinker.  Don’t let this lesson be lost.  It is the lesson we, of all people, ought well have better realised, since in the pre-history of this land, indigenous men had used psychedelic plant medicines as the commodity of trade, instead of money.  And we all ought well know of the variability of the psychedelic experience, and how necessarily it defines itself via environmental setting, as well as individual mindset.  Obviously money we may receive from a good accountible man, is worth more in hand, than money of the same contractually stated written value, received from a theif.  Just as a psychedelic trip is worth more in company of a good Shaman whose providence is being proven.

Neither let the lesson be lost, as to how we might have compared ourselves to others.  For example, are we living adjacent to neighbours with much more monetary wealth than ourselves, or neighbours with much less monetary wealth than ourselves, or neighbours with comparable monetary wealth than ourselves?  You see, if we harbour the self belief, in being worth as much in our heart of hearts, as the most well to do persons of formidable monetary means beyond our own; well then surely, anybody we might have looked down upon as worth less than ourselves, could conceivably be equitably worth as much.  Eventually it is inevitable that we all realised monetary value is disconnected from value in reality.  And between now and then, the longer it takes us to so realise this fact, the lesser we find we are valuing our own ability to love.

And as I wrote these words, that man who had tended to dominate the contemplations of the head of my carnal body, causing me contemplate money I never myself gained by such contemplations, disproved himself as formidably as anybody with more money ever was want to attempt dominate our collective consciousness.  You see, he uses me to blame anybody who believes me, as if believing in me becomes him and his errors of hand, and yet in that fact, whoever he blamed always had gained of him in me, whatever it was he wanted to be.  King of psychedelia indeed.

But be that as temporal and transient as you yourself believe you could in fact take some of his responsibility for me out of his hands.  As my experience is of the lowliest of junkies, having sustained himself in well paid work, simply by providing for me briefly, and at great expense to himself, his family, and potentially entire friendship network.  But at such expense perhaps only because he chose to give me his money rather than spend it upon me.  A talent only my very lovely mother and father could, as yet, inhabit.   And bringing to mind the cause of my writing, being promoting the cause of haggling.  Would that any man ever had attempted to haggle over me, he might have needed haggle in kind, above cash.  Meanwhile I seem to belong to the Nation State, whose economy provides for me, and yet as it was via giving me money, I am in the minds of many, as if their whore, and trash.  Proving only why men pay tax.

Video made in 2015, of a poem written in 2010.

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Here is another video.  The blurb about this second video here, which I wrote for youtube, states “This video is a Poem reading. The poem is longer than my usual long poems, more boring, but also it is the most overt of all my poems, at pointing to the external worldly events, which many of my poems are referring to, somewhat shy of stating. If you listen to this story told in a poem, you may well understand what causes me be shy of stating the facts.”  I still feel shy about this one.  Shy of placing it into my website.  I felt very resistent to making it as well. Shy writing the poem, and reading it, and most of all shy about showing it to anybody. And contemplating these facts now, I realise one man in particular, an anonymous good guy in the background, may well have thwarted the bad guy man who does my wolrdy facts most days of the year, and since that man I keep complaining about the doings done of, seems to have become thwarted for a change, when usually he was thwarting all others, I begin to understand me being shy in this context.  I am shy in part, for a different man whose Spiritual guidance helped me out here, before he passed away in 2015.  It feels almost too terrifying to place this here, and yet all the evidence surrounding me is that it is a positive step.  So this is the strategy I have taken.  First I have posted an older poem in a newer video than this to follow, as a distraction for myself away from all my shame on display in the video below.  Next, I am going to provide a good strong reason for that, in that between 2010, and 2015, the same set of facts both videos are relating to, did not change, but my own internal attitude towards those facts changed tremendously.  Getting it straight that there is a trajectory between one video and the other here, (and with the video in the footer being an even more recent version of the exact same set of facts yet again), will help you all in understanding why it is, that what went down in the events behind my whole website, can’t be entirely exposed and revealed, but what I can willing reveal I will continue to reveal.  After all, at the end of revelations it states we all ought provide our Testimonies of becoming Christian for one another, and this next video is nothing if not a part of my inner Testimony.  Thank God!


Thinking of Black Lives Mattering


I have something to say about “black lives matter”, but my words aren’t those which carry the political voice, and are rather more apolitical. Nevertheless I believe that the life of every person holds intrinsic value, and when the infrastructure of how human society organized itself, was practicing a negative discrimination against persons of any specific distinct appearance, such as we witness towards persons with dark skin, that the structure and functions of the forms of organization in use were fundamentally flawed. I have pale skin, and I state this only to be honest about having been raised in a world of relative privilege. I also receive an Australian Centrelink Disability Pension for a Post Traumatic Stress condition, and in my 49 years of life, have held a paid job for around 4 years altogether. Between 2002 and 2015, I associated much within the community of indigenous australian socialization patterns, in accordance with minimal experience at a Corroboree in 1988, of an acculturative practice binding me into indigenous Kinship. By associating with persons darker than myself, I am acutely aware of the practices of discrimination by the Australian Nation State, and also aware that such discrimination can and did extend to paler persons carrying an internal indigenous identification belief. Yet with paler skin, and the accent of a privileged upbringing, the discrimination by the Nation State, plays out somewhat differently.

I have this perspective of our racial differences, that we find how different we are from one another, only by externally exaggerating our similarities, and we find how similar we are, by externally exaggerating difference. Thus I want to explain a little of what the difference is as I understand. People with darker skin than my own, tend to see more of the images which exist in the ether, not as often visible to people with paler skin. Images which can be collectively witnessed. Thus with pale skin, we tend not to form cultures which acknowledge those images, while darker persons tend to find a way to collectively acknowledge such images, whether or not they live in a culture which enables such acknowledgement within safety restraints around dangerous imagery. When people with darker skin are imposed upon to live within cultural restraints defined by persons with paler skin, they can wind up existing in a set of acculturative practices, which deigns to acknowledge their witness, and labelled as insane and/or criminal. Without the safety restraints of the cultures developed in the social contexts of dark skin people’s communities, the images it is possible to collectively witness, tend to be less acculturative in nature, and more detrimental psychologically. Thus it can become only too easy for paler persons to actively propose an advantage to be gained by framing darker persons as those with criminal intent, and then engagement in such a practice, might further seem to provoke the evidence of their proposition. There is thus a necessity that the belief I hold of darker persons seeing more of the “unseen” world, is made more overtly explicable, otherwise I could seem to be only causing what I assert.

My further understanding, is that darker skin receives more purple seifrot and mana, while paler skin receives more yellow seifrot and mana. Paler skin is thus more active in asserting the shape of the purple in accord with the yellow, while darker skin is more active in asserting the repetitive pattern of the yellow, in accord with the purple. Thus if we paler persons were to pursue the goal of gaining by the oppression of darker persons, our world does indeed become far far more dangerous, through the repetitions of yellow mana forming into solid matter, in the patterns we had pursued blaming upon darker persons. I often think about what this means, by contrasting and comparing the examples of the USA and Australia, since I am an Australian and bombarded as we all are here, by American media.

Australia is widely accused of racism. We tend to provoke any tendency to racist points of view in one another, and sort of tolerate racist organisations like the One Nation Party, as though entirely a joke by which we need tolerate our own internal hatred of ourselves. We expose any inherent racism in a way by which we are open to becoming accused as the perpetrators of that. Indigenous Australians with darker skin are the same, in how they provoke dislike of paler skin into exposing itself, and then find the ability to tolerate that among themselves as an embarrassment. America is trying rather, as Americans will need to according to their culture being different from Australian culture, to openly assert how to avoid being racist. Yet in America it is a more dangerous society in general. No doubt the larger division between the wealthy and the poor, was the greater cause of the greater danger. Yet how racial difference as a social phenomenon interacts with divisions between wealth and poverty, can be revealing of cultural norms. Americans tend to group together, among groups in which any cultural differences are being sustained. Neighbourhoods are more likely to be overtly predominantly of one race or culture. Whereas in Australia we have a social expectation of the assimilation of migrants. Once I even heard a few drunk indigenous youths, yelling out abusively towards African migrant youths, “speak English, youse live in Australia now”. Obviously the indigenous youths felt somewhat threatened by hearing a language they did not understand, but the point I am making, is that it is a cultural norm within indigenous society in Australia, that we need find a way to blend in, and simultaneously make individual motives open and plainly revealed. We thus become a more tolerant society, in my belief, although I am open to letting Americans try to prove me wrong. Especially since I think it is an insideous evil that the One Nation party even exist.

I want to relate a lesson I learned myself, over quite some many years, so as to illustrate why we folks with pale skin, need value the lives of folks with dark skin. To begin at the beginning, in 1969, when learning to speak, I had an ABC book which read “N is for nigger” and showed a picture of a dark looking man. One day, still a baby, I saw and indigenous man walk past our house, and I pointed and said “nigger”, much to the dismay and embarrassment of my mother. I became admonished, and felt bereft of the usual praise I had become accustomed to receiving for saying a new word. The lesson thus burned into me as my first ever error in this world, and I did not make the same error again. Later, age nineteen, I had the unusual experience of attending a Corroboree make by hundreds of traditional indigenous australians, and I felt simultaneously: thoroughly observed until my every shameful self concept became detected; tolerated and honoured; and privileged to be present experiencing an event which few australians with pale skin are able to experience. Soon after I joined a political group seeking to advocate an anti-racist point of view, and continued to advocate for white support of black power politics also when living in London. Then, in my early twenties, studying anthropology at university, I became faced with having to write an essay, in the topic of a question I selected, about sanctions in traditionally oriented indigenous society.

By then I had become thoroughly socialised into a false belief in the need to positively discriminate too far, as if even bad men with dark skin, are more good than good men with pale skin. As I wrote my essay about sanctions in traditional indigenous society, I had to change my point of view, realising that, in the ignorance of youth, I had adopted an opinion that indigenous society had no need for sanctions because the crimes all belonged to the invading society, as if no crime had existed in Australia prior to 1788. As if indigenous racial appearance denotes a greater internal self discipline as an inherent fact. In fact, after changing the direction of my essay when I had read enough to know of the evidence of indigenous wrongdoers needing indigenous social sanctions, I had still a long way to go to shift an opinion I had erroneously developed.

On the whole, despite the fact of 90% of the indigenous folks who I have met, having been at one time or another incarcerated in an australian prison, I am able to express that I find indigenous people to be generally more inclined to obey the law, than non-indigenous people are. The majority of indigenous people I know, are at least equally inclined to obey the law, as I am in the high standard of law obedience expected of myself by my mother and father. I got brought up in an extremely strict family, and did not think of us as indicative of how paler skin tends to be. Yet simultaneously, if I were to have continued to assume that indigenous people inherently have greater self discipline than folk with paler skin like myself, I could have found myself in danger, as if asserting that I was the most likely criminally minded person whenever associating myself with darker persons than myself.

Eventually I read a book named Beelzebub’s Tales To His Grandson, by Georges Ivanovitch Gurdjieff, which defines the tradition of initiatory ritual, as having a starting time in one place with one man, who through another two hundred men, spread intiatory rituals in various forms, all over the world. And I found myself believing that the still contemporary initiatory rites of passage of traditionally oriented indigenous australians, belong within that exact unbroken tradition. A tradition in which it is believed, that initiation is necessary because all of us inhabit a carnal body which can be weak and susceptible to corrupt thinking, unless initiated into an understanding of the nature of fear. Only thereafter my reading, and containing my own fears for myself, could I begin to assert my presence among persons with dark skin inclusive of the initiated. Understanding that all of us, regardless of appearance and ethnicity, have an inherent weakness of flesh which we need gain the upper hand over. Without acknowledging the role of initiatory rites of passage, I had become anti-racist to an extent detrimental for social inclusion within an indigenous society who maintain such rites of passage.

By now I have the understanding, that if I internally downgrade my own status, because of having pale skin, and place dark skin on a pedestal, all I am engaging with was a weak inclination in uninitiated folks with dark skin, towards taking an easy ride at my expense, and eventually detrimentally for us all. Actually I still believe that a greater percentage of indigenous australians are more law abiding than of non-indigenous australians, and that this is now explicable as a result of the original initiatory tradition of genuine rites of passage, which enable a reduction in overall fear in a society. I have also had encounters with indigenous men with darker skin than I have, who had spent too long incarcerated in prison, and were gradually through many years becoming more and more corrupt in their thinking about their own society. I have met dark indigenous men whose initial initiation was difficult because of the fact that later in life they spent time in prison in a social context in which intiatory rites of passage were being falsified. Worse still I happen to know an indigenous man who was an overt proponent of the need for all of his community to experience his anal rape as if that qualified as an initiatory practice. I have heard an academic on National Indigenous Television, speaking about what a huge and grave social embarrassment it was when he learned about how youths were wanting to go to prison so as to become initiated by the false means of gaol house rape.

Yes I agree that black lives matter, as equally as white lives matter, as all human life matters, as the whole bio-diversity matters. And I also find it to be, that if we paler persons were to continue to discriminate against darker person than ourselves, we can only cause that the world around us ourselves, becomes more and more dangerous, within the exact pattern of how we discriminated. Thus we need all immediately collectively stop presuming we have any idea at all about what it is like living the life of a person with darker skin than our own is. Yet we also need avoid joining in with discrimination against our own particular racial appearance, since that practice can tend towards engagement with the false practice of criminal acts feigning being an initiation. Black lives matter enough as that we need find ourselves capable of learning to understand how the original tradition of initiatory rites of passage, will always enable every life to matter more, and harbour fear less.

You will likely have realised of my writing, that in being apolitical I am avoiding of the words “black” and “white”. The reason behind this, is only in small part because various shades of brown and pinkish tan might be more accurate. Moreso I am avoiding of the criminal notions of blackness and whiteness, by which those who wanted a criminal concept of a black identity, have taken over many of our thoughts about what “black power”, and “black consciousness” is. I ought here assert what it is not going to ever be proven to be. In that the concepts of blackness and whiteness, have two distinctly opposing patterns within criminal minds, and neither fully accurate. One pattern of “black” asserts that blackness lies, but in being honest about being a liar, had more integrity than “white”, which eventually loses by its own assertion of itself existing as if in honesty. The other pattern asserts that “white” can in fact sustain honesty and integrity, but might from time to time rely upon the “black” who supply support from below. Both patterns become abused and abusive, as if either blackness or whiteness of internal identity, and/or, of skin appearance or clothing appearance or house paint and Art work, could ultimately define the fact of whether a person is telling the truth or lying in any given moment. But in one pattern black lies and white doesn’t and in the other pattern white lies and black doesn’t, and in both patterns if within any criminality, “doesn’t” most often will mean “doesn’t need expose itself lying”, but might actually be honest.

As a teenager I read the Autobiography of Malcom X, and all my concepts of how black power and black consciousness are about the way paler persons have manipulated darker persons to our own detriment, can be sourced to thinking I developed in the company of folks darker than myself, always thinking from a starting point in that reading and the Islamic assertion of different needs in different biology. At the outset of my thinking, a High School English teacher who had placed the Autobiography of Malcom X on a list of compusory reading in short course of studying Black American Literature, wanted to tell us all, after forcing us read Malcom X, that he was wrong. I argued with her and won the point that since we only have the experience of our pale skin, we can’t know that dark skin isn’t more different from ourselves than as we expect. But what I had taken to heart, is that darker skin is more enabling of the understanding that when anybody blames others for their own errors, that act of blame will always work out to the detriment of the person who caste the blame. Perhaps this is why folk with darker skin maybe more likely, all across the world, to have sustained initiatory rites of passage. Of course that being stated, I ought also assert that there is another understanding, significant also within learning the knowledge of intiatory rituals, in which paler skin is also an advantage, but a different kind of advantage.

Thus my short essay here becomes all the more a reference to the fact that initiatory rites of passage might be still carrying a critical social function in our world. Many more people all the time are finding that their use of psychedelics, even recreationally, will be capable of enabling aspects of intiates know how. And perhaps as you read you will be curious as to what I know. I know enough to know not to reveal all I know, at least without not knowing how the carnal body of readers is so far proving capable of absorbing information and accepting the real truth apart from any extraneous statements, as I tend to often make. Not lies but potentially misleading avoidance of the exact point of fact. Perhaps the only point being that I have already used enough words.

Nevertheless, just in case anybody is especially curious in a positive way; And all the more just in case anybody was fearful of having become incalcated into a falsification of initiation’s privilege, I will reveal here a little part of the whole set of knowledge. Point one, the first fact, which always ought be asserted in the real original traditions, is that death is only ever, and always, in all circumstances, accidental. Now you might want to object already at the outset, by citing examples of suicide. But the tradition carries nevertheless, since we don’t actually know, in cases of deaths which were an apparent suicide, with suicide notes as evidence, we don’t know that the victim of their own fear, did not hope to fail. And we do know of many failed suicide attempts as well. We know it is not an easy act to achieve. We know that many who attempt, wind up expressing a self belief that they were only attention seeking. So what if the attention seekers, who intended to fail, were the only successful suicides. We don’t, and can’t ever really know. And so the point is retained, that to believe in one’s own eventual passing out of this world being by accident, is a more useful belief. By accident there were those who imagined otherwise, and were attempting to assert otherwise. The traditional belief, is that just as the Moon once began attached to the Earth, as a part of this our home, and then when Moon separated from Earth, the separation occurred prematurely, before Earth’s atomosphere had matured enough to be stable, and that is also why a series of other events occurred, such as ice ages, and the deserts forming when the equator shifted. It was all a terrible accident, and is the original cause of every death. All by accident.

Not until I know you are accepting that single point, is it conscionable to reveal very much more. There are other aspects of intiatory knowledge, which can further be considered in preparation however. For example, the fact that our human carnal/physical bodies are weak, and feel temptation, and need to develop stronger self discipline, is the same as the fact of original sin, and is the reason we need initiation before learning certain knowledge of what happens when accidents overtake our life. Also we need learn in preparation for initiatory rites of passage, that our thought processes have become inept, due in large part to the same accidents. Too many accidents of mind have happened at Earth, for our thinking to be proper to our humanity. Thinking is after all, as collective as is experience shared. Thoughts are no more than a string of thought associations, often defined by sequences of experiences. Thus if ever our experiences were erroneous, with accidental jolts into negative consequences lacking justice, then similarly our thinking is likely to have become erroneous. However, our feelings retain better consistency and accuracy.

Thus via intuitive sensibility, and in intelligence carried through the Astral body rather than Spirit body, (Astral body being the subtle body of emotion, often confused with Spirit, and also named body Kesdjan, and also named the conscience as distinct from conscious), we may still be making more accurate choices for ourselves than is possible by thinking overly much. So now the task we all face every day, is to follow our conscience, as an innate feeling of right versus wrong in our every choice all the time. Only when we find ourselves having accommodated this lesson, of our need to follow our conscience, can an initiatory rite of passage succeed at lessening the overall capacity of the body to become afraid. Meanwhile, if we fear our death, and in knowing it will be painful we likely will fear that the process is inescapable, we can only fall afoul of ourselves into worsening the fear, thus worsening the process and its inherent painfulness. In fact fear and death were always the exact same phenomenon, and the initiatory ritual, when accurately achieved, is what will convince the carnal/physical body of that similitude between being the same phenomenon. And the clincher here, is that in every moment, the more we dwell upon such facts, the worse the inevitable outcome, whilst if we simply swallow that what be inevitable be inevitable, and find for ourselves the means to dwell in more positive minded thinking, we become less afraid. And now that I have written this much, am I not also obliged to ensure you readers will in fact soon enough accept the way into your own initiatory rite of passage can be found? Perhaps not even as I am capable of causing via homeopathy, neither via the means of the men of the deserts of Central Australia, perhaps through your own use of a psychedelic it will happen if that is your intent and mindset, and in your environmental setting you place any reminder of your intent. Perhaps it will happen through your dreams, by the means by which indigenous men can “Sing” any other person into any given understanding. Perhaps you will just jump into a large enough body of water, as that you go under unexpectedly for a long enough moment as that it will be alike the Baptism in which so many Christians imitate the Baptism John the Baptist gave Jesus.  And yet without comprehending the original lesson is a splash of water upon an infant’s head going to be enough?

Black lives matter, because all of life matters, and us paler skin folks can as ill afford forget that fact, as afford forget our own paler skin lives are alive. Hopefully as alive as those with darker skin than our own. And might we in life now find, that if we slip more easily into finding fault with those darker than ourselves, it is because we more readily slip into inhabiting the fear of not knowing what we fear. Yet thus, is it not our strength that we accept the truth more readily in the same moment of our witness of evidence of what we had feared. Just as darker folk accept more readily the truth of why to avoid blaming others. Two sides of the same lesson to be learned.